Dating in Indian Culture - The Truth
77Does dating exist in India? The answer would be Yes. However, does dating exist in India as it does in other Western Countries? Well, the answer would be a clear “No.” In Western countries, dating is encouraged from the teenage years itself so that one can find the best possible match. Spending some time with each other, traveling together, visiting each other’s homes, and living in with each other for years and even having kids before they take the important decision of marrying each other – all these form a part of the dating routine there. If this is dating, then it is evident that India has a long way to streamline this into its culture
In fact, it can be said that the concept of dating in Indian culture takes an altogether different meaning. Contrary to the Western world, parents form an integral part of the “Indian dating” process. Here, culture, caste, religion and the level of education are some of the important deciding factors in a relationship that should end in marriage.
Parents are important!
Earlier, parents were given the responsibility to find the best match for their children. They consider the financial status, education and most importantly the religion and caste of the prospective brides and grooms before “rounding off” the right one. Many a time, the marriage is fixed (say, engaged) even when the bride or groom are kids so that they grow up and then enter into the relationship of marriage. This is a very contrasting practice to what happens in Western countries.
Even though there have been significant advances in the living style, most of the youngsters would still want their parents’ blessings before they enter marital life. However, there have been an increasing number of cases wherein there are couples who decide to tie the knot without bothering about the caste, religion or the expectations of their parents– many a time, the parents never accept them back into their lives and it is considered as a crime or as an act of embarrassment.
Nowadays, there have been considerable changes at the Indian dating front. Parents are liberal regarding permitting youngsters to date whom they like. But still a large number of youngsters seek their parent’s opinion before they date someone or would want to marry someone
Notably, in metropolitan cities, where the life is too busy, marriages between individuals from different castes a religions does not create as much news or furore as that in villages. This is a sign that Indians ready to accept and are welcoming changes in their lives. Whatever is the end result, the acceptance and permission of parents is still an unavoidable aspect in dating and marriages.
10 Rules for Dating an Indian Girl
Does caste matter?
Even though many of us would like to say that caste does not matter, a relation that ends in marriage also involves two families on the way. Many a time, when the bride and
groom are from two different religions, their compatibility may be affected to some extent, but not every time. For instant, if the woman is from a very ritualistic Hindu family, then she might not be prepared to face the surprises in a Christian family if she is planning to date a Christian.
However, this does not mean that there are no inter-caste or inter-religion marriages at all in India. Many times, especially in rural areas, it is sad that people look down upon such relationships and this very factor programs their minds to the concept that dating “out of the box” is risky. In such cases, one prefers to stick by traditions by choosing the match from within their group.
Is this Dating?
Before even the girl and boy see each other, the elders decide. Engagement is a function like marriage. Many people tend to get the marriage function conducted within a short period of time from the engagement. Most of the couples fall in love with each other after this arranged marriage. Strangely, there are marriages wherein the girl and boy see each other only on the day of marriage. Apparently, this is how dating supposed to work in India traditionally.
Nowadays, parents give the freedom to youngsters to date and find their match. However, this does not mean that they can date as many as they want before they enter marriage. The increase in the number of matrimonial websites and Indian dating sites proves the fact that dating is slowly becoming a part of the Indian culture. Metropolitan cities have started to whole heartedly welcome couples who want to date and live in. All these show that dating do exist in India; however, it is yet to be accepted completely into the society as that in Western countries.
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Very interesting, thank you.
Yes, interesting. I do a lot of dating website reviews and some are Indian sites but not many
Very interesting, SunSeven. Always marveled at how two young people who hardly knew each other could enter into marriage, but it stands to reason that having the parents' and families' approval definitely contributes to the relationship's success. As an aside, when I married my first husband (in the U.S.) he and my father, may he rest in peace, only met the day before the wedding. As it turned out, they didn't hit it off at all and our family get togethers were quite awkward. Only years later did I realize how disrespectful it was to not have gotten my father's blessing. If we had, I think I would have received a lot more moral support!
Marriage in the US most often ends in divorce - or hardships all through the marriage. I would never tell someone from another culture that the American way is the best way. Nor do I think teenagers should be encouraged to date. If I had listened to my parents I would have had a better life all around - but nooooo! Teenagers truly know nothing! No adult goes to a teenager for advice.
We've been sold this Hollywood fairytale of love and marriage but we need a far more serious look at the person we are going to live with and have children with and it certainly helps to have the wisdom of the elders looking out for us.
Thanks for this hub!
i dont think caste matter in india any more. in big cities every thing is live in.
Very good. I like it
hey i m 25yrs old.. any woman willing to date with me???
Hi from Australia, it was great to read about the Dating Culture in India, thanks.
I am originally from Spain. I know how dateless marriages work through stories from the older members in my family. Their stories precede the Ford T and are similar to what you would expect now in India or other countries in the east and middle east.
My Grand parents only saw each other once before their wedding day. However, the moment my grand father saw my grand mother, he fell in love (or lust) with her. My grand mother never answered when I asked her about the moment in which she fell in love with my grand father. But she did tell me that she was very happy to get married because she was already over 20 when she got married.
When I was a teenager, my grand parents were already in their 50s. They were already old and defeated by life. They hated each other and had no happiness together. But they stayed married into their 80s, when they died.
Yeah! In that type of society there were no divorces. People married whoever they were told to marry and stayed together till they died. They did have moments of happiness. My grand parents could not wait for the summers, when we would spend two months with them. But their happiness did not come from each other.
I have lived in the USA for 35 years. I dated alot and married twice. My first marriage was a mistake. I corrected it. Now, I have been married for 23 years and am happy with my wife. My happiness comes from her, my job, and my life in general. I would not change my life for my grandparents' lives. In our world, our happiness is our responsability and is a direct consequence of our decisions. I like it that way!
I am sure many people in India would get divorces if they could. But I am sure divorced people, especially divorced women are ostresized. The truth is that my grand parents claimed that they hated our generation's dating culture. But in their hearts, they wished they had lived like us.
I agree with the last comment that our happiness is our responsibility weather other people like our decisions or not. Willing to "settle" is not always the right answer.
its nice, thanks....
The video in this article is really funny!
really nice hub, and your opinion is very correct.
Facinating comparison, although i see the cultural blend increasing in the years to come
grt reading it helps deciding our personal wives
I'm a little bummed about the fact that this has less to do with dating and more with dating being a precursor to marriage :/ What the hell, man? (*And yeah, I'm Indian. A very confused 19-year old Indian who doesn't understand why dating a guy ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY MUST entail being friends with his entire friend circle. I know how nice it is, but come on!)
I think this is a bit dated really. Indian cities are sometimes similar with dating than any western city. I have friends who have travelled to India and come back to tell me that Indians are sometimes more promiscuous and open than their western counterparts-
though these survive exclusively as tiny impenetrable pockets. I lived in with a guy in Mumbai and it was totally cool with my conservative Muslim landlady, though we had to tweak a few facts back in 2006. Coming up with the story was soo much fun :)
indians are prejuduce aka racist people u cant get an indian girl if your not indian its their religion i got chased out of a house once by a girl i was seeing that was indian descent by her father never to see her agian straight up trash people and racist of the world. tell me wrong
I am married to a india and hate the fact that it cant be know in India where he lives as his family would not approve of me. So he is moving to South Africa to live with me, we Love each other and met each other on Face Book, he came to S-A and we got married, we have our differences but are happy,as we love each other.
RiaMorrison 2 years ago
Interesting. Cultural comparisons are always fascinating to me, and I enjoy it when they're presented in a way that shows them as being just as valid as other systems.